Does Not Wanting to Date a Disabled Person Make You a Bad Person?


Hope Ivy @hopeivy12 gives her answer to this question below:

I am not sure if not wanting to date a disabled person makes you a bad person, but maybe just a closed minded one. We hear the argument “it's just to do with my dating preferences" a fair amount when it comes to disabled dating. I think having individual preferences about the type of person you want to date is completely expected. However, grouping the largest minority of people in the world together and saying you wouldn't date any of them, is unrealistic. The disabled community is the most diverse; we cover all genders, cultures, abilities, and passions. You will find someone in our community that fits your preferences. For example, even if you have a very specific list of requirements. Say you want to find a masculine woman, who is a CEO, who is independent and who has blonde hair there will be a beautiful masculine woman in the disabled community who fits that description perfectly (I can think of two people I know off the top of my head). So it can't be about preferences as we are literally the most diverse community, therefore logically it must be about the idea of dating a disabled person.

 "You don't have to be a caregiver. You don't have to help me eat or sleep... but if you want to help every now and then like everyone does for their partners, that's okay too."

The rationale I hear most often about not wanting to date a disabled person is the idea that there is a responsibility difference in an interable relationship in comparison to able relationships. You don't have to be a caregiver. You don't have to help me eat or sleep. I have lived for 25 years without the care of a partner, so it's not going to make a difference to me if you don't want to take part in that bit of my life as I already have that help in place. If you want to help every now and then like everyone does for their partners, that's okay too. We are people just like everyone else.

I have also heard the concern that able-bodied people feel disabled persons are fragile or breakable. As in every relationship, there should be open communication about what a person wants and can handle. Most of us have the same wants and needs as the rest of the world. If you have any questions, just ask. Being part of an interable relationship can be the exact same as an able relationship. To write off an entire community based on incorrect misconceptions will definitely make you less likely to find the one. Never say never.